Short Plays by Alan Woods

A Bus Called Home

2009-05-04T11:34:00.000-07:00

Outside a nursing home, where the staff has figured out how to prevent people from wandering off as they attempt to return home. 3 elderly men, 4 elderly women, 1 aide of either gender. Two of the elderly characters must be African-American; otherwise, ethnicity is open.

Limbo, Ohio

2008-02-03T18:30:00.000-08:00

Willy Loman finds out what happens to dramatic characters after they commit suicide. Two versions: one man, two women; and one man, one woman. Both approximately ten minutes long. The three character version premiered as part of the Limbo Project at Gallery 202 in Westerville, Ohio, in January, 2008; it was produced at the Senior Theatre Festival in Baltimore, Maryland, in June, 2008. More at http://limboplays.blogspot.com

At Madame Rastinovina's

2007-11-20T13:21:00.001-08:00

2 w, 2 m, 1 either
Students in a 'method' acting class cope with 'sense memory' exercises. Approximately 5 minutes.

The Danish

2007-10-19T12:08:00.000-07:00

A one page play: an elderly man finds that his accustomed breakfast of 60 years is about to change, because his wife has read about increasing longevity through diet. 1 m, 1 w. Premiered as part of "Family Foibles" at the Heritage Theatre Company in Bend, Oregon, and as part of the "Dessert Plays" by the Maple Grove Players in Columbus, Ohio, both in May 2008.

Brace Man

2007-08-17T20:30:00.000-07:00

1 m, 1 w. Approximately 10 minutes. A man wearing a neck brace and his partner discover the world of neck brace festishists, and potential profits they represent.

The Safari

2007-08-06T21:11:00.000-07:00

2 men. Approximately five minutes. Aging, would-be Big Game Hunters in Africa, on a safari much like the famous pheasant hunt organized for the American Vice President. Premiered at the 2007 National Arts Festival Fringe in Grahamstown, South Africa, as part of Blameless Productions' "Bedtime Stories for Big Boys and Girls." More information at

http://www.nafest.co.za/2007fringe_comedy_bedtime.htm

God's On Our Side

2007-07-15T18:27:00.000-07:00

What happens when a soldier rejects the pious memorial for soldiers killed in battle. 4 characters; can be played by either male or female performers. Approximately 10 minutes long. Contains language typically used by soldiers under stress, which some might find offensive.

Bread and Pigeons

2007-06-13T09:10:00.000-07:00

3 w, 1 m. Approximately five minutes. Short play about the problems created by elderly folk who insist on needlessly feeding pigeons in urban areas, inspired by a short piece about efforts to dimish the pigeon population in English cities on the BBC in Autumn, 2006. Premiered in Costa Mesa, California, November, 2007, by the South Coast Storytellers Guild as part of Tellebration! A World-Wide Event.

The Stampistas

2007-04-28T18:57:00.000-07:00

2 women, 1 man. Approximately 15 minutes. After working together for over a quarter of a century, one worker realizes that the relationship will never develop as fully as she'd like. Short play written for a challenge: to write a boring play in which the subtext is fraught with all sorts of repressed emotion. Inspired both by memories of Murray Schisgal's The Typists, on which the author worked as property master in its off Broadway production, and seeing bureaucrats doing their job as stampers in an Italian government office in Naples.

In the Mall

2007-04-27T06:53:00.000-07:00

3 women, 1 man. Roughly five minutes. Shopping takes unexpected turns. Short play written for a challenge--there's only one complete sentence.

Downstairs at Elsinore

2007-04-27T06:52:00.000-07:00

1 woman, 4 men. Roughly fifteen minutes. A prequel to Hamlet finds the guards at Elsinore in the armory, visited by Ethel, the Pirate King's Daughter; the pirates are part of the entertainment for the wedding of Claudius and Gertrude. Then there's this ghost on the battlements. . . To be premiered at the Fields of Honor Festival, Pointed Remarques Classical Theatre Company, Longmont, Colorado. See http://www.pointedremarques.org/

Twentieth Night

2007-04-27T06:50:00.000-07:00

Adam Peal (Osric) greets Seb (Alex Coccia), Olivia (Linda Schuler), Viola (Karla Rothan) and Young Livvy (Rhea Kavari) in the reading at The Center on High, Columbus, May 19, 2007.

3 women, 2 men. Roughly twenty minutes. A sequel to Twelfth Night, eighteen years later. Viola and Olivia are now partners, as are Sebastian and Orsino, all having realized their true attractions. Their children, young Sebastian and young Olivia, are learning to fence. A message arrives for Prince Hamlet, who's just left Illyria to visit Sebastian and Orsino in Venice. Premiered at Stonewall Columbus, May, 2007.

Who's Herbert?

2007-04-26T19:40:00.000-07:00

2 women, 1 man. All over 65. Runs approximately ten minutes or so. Residents of a retirement facility try to figure out who was married to Herbert, and if that's Herbert or not. Produced at the Senior Theatre League of America meeting, St. Louis, 2006, and at the Spokane Civic Theatre, Spokane, Washington, in May, 2008. Commissioned by Pat Barnett, Salt Lake City Senior Theatre, Utah, and Sarah Worthington, Footsteps of the Elders, Columbus, Ohio.

The Joys of Spam

2007-04-26T19:02:00.000-07:00

Readers' Theatre, flexible casting Roughly ten minutes. Compilation of short verses celebrating the canned meat. Premiered by the Madison Children's Theatre, Madison, Alabama, October 2006.

Not the Delany Sisters

2007-04-26T18:56:00.000-07:00

3 women. Approximately 15 minutes. Two sisters, over a century old, refuse to become objects of sentimental reportage. First produced at the Senior Theatre League of America conference in Columbus, Ohio, 2002.

Last Call

2007-04-26T16:57:00.000-07:00

2 characters, gender flexible. Roughly five minutes. Friends have a last drink as the world comes to an end. Produced at the Asphalt Shorts Festival, Kitchener, Ontario, Canada, 2006. The first version of the script was published in The Columbus Free Press online edition, June 2, 2006:
http://www.freepress.org/departments/display/20/2006/1994